How does a Sexless Marriage Affect a Couple?

How does a Sexless Marriage Affect a Couple?


Marriage is a holy connection between two people who promise to share all of their lives ups and downs, positives and negatives, good and terrible. However, when it comes to sharing, another essential part that comes up is bed-sharing, or engaging in sexual intimacy, because a sexless marriage is the ultimate death for this holy union.

Sex is a hidden part of a marriage that has a huge impact on the other dynamics. Marriage without sex breeds bitterness and loneliness.

What is a Sexless Marriage?

When a couple has little to no sexual activity together, their marriage is considered sexless. A sexless marriage is like a flowerless garden. It contains all of the necessary materials, such as soil, water, and sunlight, yet it lacks the beauty and fragrance of live creatures. It does not thrive; it may simply endure.

Some experts consider a sexless marriage to last more than a year or two without sex. On the contrary, other specialists believe there are times in marriage when spouses are either excessively intimate with each other or entirely uninterested in sexual activity.

Depending on the couple, not having sex may or may not be an issue. However, if a lack of sex and physical closeness is a concern, there are ways to address the problem both jointly and separately. The first step is to identify the underlying causes of the problem.

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Common Justifications for a Sexless Marriage

Being sexually unfulfilled in marriage is cause for significant concern; yet, that concern can only be alleviated if we address the underlying causes.

Several factors, ranging from lifestyle choices to health concerns, might contribute to a marriage devolving into asexuality. Here are a few common reasons for a sexless marriage, summarized below.

Common Justifications for a Sexless Marriage

  1. Health-related issues

A person’s physical and mental health can have a significant impact on their libido and desire for sexual intimacy. Health issues and disabilities can also disturb the natural process of arousal in both sexes.

However, if these issues persist for more than a few months or cause problems for you or your spouse, you should consult with a doctor.

  1. Mismatched Libido

Not everyone desires the same quantity of sex, and sex drive fluctuates naturally. When the lovers’ desires for sex do not coincide, it is common for them to wait until both partners are in the mood, which can be infrequent.

While it isn’t always a problem, mismatched sex drives can cause emotions of rejection for the spouse with a high libido and guilt or frustration for the partner with a low libido.

  1. Life transitions

Everybody has challenges in life that have an impact on their happiness and well-being. It is natural for sexual desire to decline during these periods as we focus on getting through the difficulty and reestablishing our balance.

  • Job loss
  • Financial issues
  • Grief
  • High stress
  • Childbirth
  • Infertility
  • Menopause
  1. Communication Concerns

If you and your partner are having issues communicating, it will influence your connection and closeness. When you feel remote and separated from your lover, having sex with them becomes tough. In particular, for women, having sex requires an emotional connection.

According to Stokes, the most typical cause of a sexless marriage is a communication breakdown. Because many people are uncomfortable discussing sex, they get into a sex pattern that appears mechanical and unsatisfying. The prospect of telling their partner that they want to have sex or try anything new in the bedroom is too intimidating, so they don’t.”

  1. Other Relationship Concerns

Other relationship issues, such as feeling alone in your partnership, adultery, addiction, deception, emotional affairs, or other betrayals, may also contribute to a decrease in sexual closeness. When there is a lack of trust in a relationship, it is difficult to be vulnerable, and so participate in sexual behavior.

  1. Hormonal Changes

The hormones estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone all affect sexual desire and arousal. 7 if your hormones fall out of balance, your libido may suffer.

  • Pregnancy
  • Menopause
  • Age
  • Menstruation
  • Stress
  • Medications
  • Environment
  1. Mental health concerns

Mental health problems have also been linked to decreased sexual desire and sexual arousal. 8 Specific difficulties might create changes in brain chemistry that lower sexual desire and impede one’s capacity to engage in sexual activity, particularly if someone has a history of sexual trauma.

  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Schizophrenia
  • PTSD
  • Eating disorders
  • Personality disorders
  1. Medication side effects

Medication is sometimes required to treat physical or mental health concerns; however, it can affect our hormones and disturb our degree of sexual passion and arousal. Medications that alter sex desire frequently target biological or hormonal mediators of libido.

Investigating Other Forms of Intimacy

Sex is a straightforward and beneficial way to demonstrate intimacy. However, physical and emotional intimacy in a marriage are essential for the partnership to thrive and build the framework for a good sex life. Hugging, kissing, snuggling, handholding, and playful contact are all examples of physical closeness.

Building a solid friendship promotes emotional connection. This includes getting to know each other, expressing gratitude to each other, and being there to support one another. Sex is more likely to occur when you focus on developing emotional and physical intimacy. Even if not, you will both be quite satisfied with your partnership.

Effects of Sexless Marriage

A marriage without sexual intercourse may not have any problems if both spouses are pleased with it. Instead of intercourse, they could demonstrate their devotion by kissing, snuggling, or spending time together.

  • Discontent
  • Sexual adultery
  • Self-esteem issues
  • Insecurity and ambiguity
  • Absence of connectedness
  • Accusing and battling

Is It Normal to Have a Sexless Marriage?

There is no universal definition of sexless marriage because each location, custom, culture, and even individual perspective on the subject vary. When we look at European culture, we can see that sex is incredibly essential, whether it is in a holy institution like marriage or not. South Asian societies, such as India, place sex on a more conservative and private pedestal, treating it as a holy responsibility.

In truth, certain cultures and faiths require sexual marriage for a relationship to be valid and consummated.

As a result, what is deemed normal in one culture may be perceived as aberrant in another. Regardless of cultural differences, a lack of physical connection in marriage can lead to frustration and dissatisfaction.

Different Types of Sexless Marriages

The frequency of sexual relationships between spouses may vary. According to research, having sex more than once a week is important for a good marriage, since those who have it less regularly report being dissatisfied with their connection. This list includes four kinds of non-sexual marriages.

  • Infrequent or non-existent sexual intimacy.
  • Low-quality sexual relations
  • Different interpretations of “sex”

Health Concerns in a Marriage without Sex

This may seem ironic, but all of the things described below work both ways. That is, these elements can both contribute to and result from a sexless marriage.

Erectile dysfunction:

The two greatest worries of any man are erectile dysfunction and sexless marriage. When a guy abstains from sex for an extended period, uncommon intimate encounters may cause erectile dysfunction due to fear and performance anxiety. However, nowadays, ED can be readily treated with a medication similar to Fildena 100 mg.


The preceding issue perpetuates a loop in which a lack of sexual activity leads to greater anxiety and stress, worsening the condition.

Low Sexual Drive:

Erectile dysfunction can also lead to diminished sex drive.

Immunity is lowered:

Frequent intercourse can enhance your immune system by increasing the level of certain antibodies, such as immunoglobulin A (IgA), which aid in disease protection. Thus, having little or no sexual activity may raise your risk of disease, notably from the flu and colds.

How Do I Deal With a Sexless Marriage?

However, the perfect amount of sex in a marriage has never been specified. Whether you and your spouse are happy, and whether you maintain emotional and physical connection, are typically more important variables.

  • Deeply discuss feelings.
  • Spending quality time is an example of nonsexual bonding.
  • Slowly and gently attempting something unusual (intimately).
  • Putting in effort to improve your happiness, health, and sense of self.
  • If needed, seek expert assistance.

Last Words:

Couples should recognize and expect that their sex life will fluctuate during their partnership. While sex is frequently a significant component of love relationships, it is not the sole means to express intimacy. There are methods to be emotionally and physically connected while maintaining a healthy, happy relationship, as long as you are both ready to work on it.

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